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( She’s not that into you? )

I know how frustrating dating can be when girls men give mixed signals. Especially when it does not pan out the way you want it. I noticed this A LOT in social circles.

I’ve had many situations, in my early pre-pick up stages, where I would swear the girl must romantically like me based on the amount of attention she gave me and I was WRONG. In fact, in social circle it’s more difficult to tell how the girl really feels about you since she is more comfortable with you as friends. Even in stranger approaching, when I tried the first generation pickup, it was really hard to know where I stood with the girl. Even when they met me on DATES after I went DIRECT and told them I liked them; they still ended up just wanting to “take things slow” or “let’s be friends first”. There was no clear metric for me to be able to determine how romantically into me they were.

The truth is, a girls attraction for you in the early stages will be subconscious (aka hind-brain attraction) many of the times. That explains the mixed signals they give us. The problem with subconscious attraction  is that they don’t know that they are attracted to you. Subconscious attraction (hind-brain) is VOLATILE. That’s why stranger approach is very difficult because even when you do create attraction, it will fade away very quickly unless you generated a ‘romantic connection’ with her before parting ways.

 If the girl is in your social circle then you have a major advantage since you can see her easily over-and-over again and simply wait for easy openings to game her gradually until she feels drawn to you. In stranger approaching, you will have to convert her attraction from subconscious to conscious attraction ( aka Fore-brain ). This means that she is aware that she truly wants you romantically. This is what the romantic connection is all about. If she knows she likes you, she will ACT like she likes you: Hense she will…

-return your calls,

-think about you a lot more

-Make it easy for you to seduce her

– etc etc etc.

So eventually, what I am essentially doing with my game is first UNDERSTANDing how to generate SUBCONSCIOUS ATTRACTION ( VERY IMPORTANT)  and then I make it into CONSCIOUS ATTRACTION. In a stranger approach this is what should be done before parting ways, since hind brain attraction alone is not enough for her to see you again to even give you a chance ti meet her again. With out being able to get it to her forebrain, you will forever play the pure brutal ‘numbers game’.

Here is my boy Swoozie ranting about how women are… He is not into game or anything. This is just him explaining how girls never know what they want. (His view is through a ‘social circle’ lens)

About justinwaynedating

Dating Coach

21 responses to “( She’s not that into you? )

  1. Steven ⋅

    Good insight but from my experience social circles is BRUTUAL way to meet women if your not attractive (game, looks ect) to begin with… because most of the women know your personalities and if its not strong then you risk alot AKA the other domino effect (one women doesn’t like you the others follow suite) But in stranger approach you start of a clean slate even though this can be a significant problem as well

    • I understand what you mean to some extent. They key in social circle is not to get ‘REJECTED’ by another girl in the group. However, just because they do not think your the dream guy of the group, does not mean they will write you off.

      One reason why social circle work much better than stranger approach is because of the time you have to slowly generate attraction and keep in mind, girls only look to guys in their social circle when considering their options.

      From my understanding after having been slept with hundreds of women… Women only consider her options within her social circle. She would prefer to date a man who is a ‘6’ in her social circle than a guy who is a ’10’ from the street. This explains why you may have seen many hot women with mediocre or sometimes ugly men… because a woman only has as much options as her current social circle… even though there may have been other HOT men in her circle of friends, the hot men may have been already taken; hence she chooses the next best thing she can find in her circle of friends; which happens to be the ‘6’ who she knows and feels comfortable with even though he is not that charismatic or handsome.

  2. Steven ⋅

    I see makes. It makes sense… so you must use ‘stealth’ game meaning not direct but doses of game each time to make her consncious of her attraction to you. So is it possible to use the domino effect in social circles and if so when is it the appproperiate time (when you have seen her enough, or when she is showing you significant IOI)

  3. yup, that’s how people generally get together ‘naturally’ in social circle. The guy doesn’t run full fledged GAME on her in one sitting. He naturally waits for the right times to have fun or make a move. This is what most normal people do. Even many PUA’s prior to doing stranger approach.

    That’s the difference. In stranger approaching, we have to literally create these moments, where as in social circle… if you see each other often as friends… there will be far more opportunities that are naturally created.

  4. David ⋅

    Hey Justin i realized that after creating your blog you forgot your lay report section….you need to update that….. plus you promised us Girls with boyfriends part 2

    • Yea I know… I have been focusing on making this the “go to” blog… I also wanted to change the vibe of what I’m doing and spread love. I will still update the lay report page once in a while… but i do not want it to be the main thing…

  5. Superman

    “In stranger approaching, you will have to convert her attraction from subconscious to conscious attraction ( aka Fore-brain )”

    Could talk about some examples of how to do this in different situations

    • To keep things simple. When you are gaming a girl in a day game context, even with the “best” infield day game videos you can find, the interaction from meet to the number are very flakey from my observation and it was just a socially fun conversation at best. Even if the guy “mentions” something direct to the women, the collective vibe of the pick up is still a flakey interaction.

      An example would be this…

      If I am with a girl for 20 minutes and we are walking around the supermarket together… I want to do things with her that she would ONLY do with her boyfriend. This is how you start to differentiate yourself from being just a cool guy she met. You want to be that guy she really like and wants to see again. One example is.. instead of being borderline flirt before parting ways…
      I want to be blatantly making out with her.. mutual interest. In Day ame this is powerful. But it can not happen randomly. Those are flukey bullshits that get you know where. Both of you would hav to se it coming so she can feel like it was serendipity and the kiss would be a lot more meaningful. So imagine doing that before getting the number.

  6. Gurupkar ⋅

    Hey Justin I am Indian Guy and i was wondering if you game EAST- Indian women because I am having problem not only attracting them but also other types of “conservative” women. You say you game a variety of women can you give me advice if you game these kind of women

    • Yes Gurupkar,
      I’ve dated and slept with East Indian women before. They seem just as conservative as some asian women.
      The simplest advice I can give you is to focus on getting them comfortable with you first before trying to seduce them. Also, do not show that you are eager to be with them.

  7. K/s.c ⋅

    hi justin quick question…after the opener and the first few minutes of interaction, how do i keep my mid-game(convo skills) intersting enough and flexible enough to get investment. And how do you build attraction i.e if you think a girl could be interested in you if you done the correct thing, what exactly would the “correct thing” be?…thanks

  8. Good article bro’.

    I’ve always knew about the hind-brain concept in seduction since being in the community for a while now,but you broke it down whereas the average guy could understand attracting her on a conscious level vs.subconscious.

  9. IndianPUA ⋅

    Approach anxiety is a major problem how did you overcome it. And i am confuse you say that your at times nervous to esclate and not that confident but you have slept with more than 4 dozen QUALITY women so than how do you get confident…. or is indifference more important since success does seem to gurantee confidence

    • You can get over it many different ways. Of course, if you do not go out often you will have approach anxiety for the first two or three approaches during your “warm up”.

      Sometimes I am nervous or not social , but I just go through with it because I made up my mind. Also I have a logical way of gaming them with The Domino Effect. SO i just trust in it.. and it still gets me success even when I am not confident for that particular approach.

      I say that you must aim for indifference… you can use logical thinking to help you get into that state of mind.. an example would be ” why should I care about what happens or what people think of me??? 100 years from now, everyone here in this world will be dead and our memory will be lost forever.. both hers and I…nothing matters… just do what you want in life”

  10. K/s.c ⋅

    hey justin weird question but do you think there is someone out there that is amazing at seduction? like ridiculously good. i would say your pretty much at the peak of your game but lets say you wanted to become even better could you get better? is it possible

    • Hey bro,

      There are many guys that are good with seducing women in many ways. I know quite a few guys that are good and get good quality women. However most of these guys get their best success via social circle or some kind of high valued game plus they have good skills.

      What I do in Random Stranger Approaching is in a different realm. I am not at my peak anymore since I do not practice anymore… (I intend on going out mor often to ‘practice’ again). However, I feel somewhat comfortable with my ‘rusty’ game.

      The better you get, the better your rusty game will get as well. There is still room for advanced improvement for me I think. I used to go out more and practice often. Maybe if I go out I will improve more… It is left to be seen…

  11. Cory ⋅

    Hey Justin how old are you and when did you start gaming. And you say you usually game women from 18-22 but i like older women 28-35 so how should I approach with my game.

    • I started gaming a few years ago when I first came to NY. The game is virtually he same process whether she is 18 or she is 50 and beyond…. They respnd virtually the same.. There are certain things that all women love and appreciate. Actually… i will do a post on this… good idea…

  12. eSucess ⋅

    that dude in the video is hilarious

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